“To put [undecided voters] in perspective, I think of being on an airplane.

The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. ‘Can I interest you in the chicken?’ she asks. ‘Or would you prefer the platter of sh*t with bits of broken glass in it?’

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.”— Humorist David Sedaris in a 2008