The Confirmed Bachelor's Oath

-- I am complete in myself and do not seek actively seek the validation of a romantic and/or sexual companion. I resist cultural definitions for self-fulfillment and happiness that depend on a romantic interest and/or looking down on myself because I do not have a romantic interest.




-- I gracefully accept whatever relationships happen to be offered unless they interfere with my self-respect.**




-- I refrain from being encouraged to seek romantic companionship from partnered people who got lucky; they express their baseless concern as a judgment of my singlehood, which doesn't help me keep my oath. If they insist on bothering me to couple like they have, I say, "OK, set me up on a date, then," which has the effect of making them responsible for the choices they want me to make, and soon enough they discontinue bringing up this topic.




-- Everything I do is a date with myself. I curate my life like a museum. I dine well alone. I dress to impress myself. My porn collection is magnificent.




-- Whenever I feel doubt about choosing to be single, I network with other Confirmed Bachelors for moral support.

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**(Self-respect interfering relationship examples:




Example 1: "Oh, I think you are delightful! No, I will not pay your rent, thanks."




Example 2: "Yes, I understand that you want me to love you even though I only hear from you on Friday afternoon when, I assume, your other lover has told you he is suddenly not available to please you. I'd rather not."




Example 3: "I know, you're in a committed relationship with someone because you make good roommates but there's no passion or sex in the relationship. I feel bad for you but I am still not fucking you.")