Straight Education

1) Stop assuming the myth of Compulsory Heterosexuality…right now. It’s embarrassing.

2) Stop demanding The Gays come out. No homosexual owes you an explanation for, or disclosure of, anything…ever. 

3) Stop equating discretion with delusion.
If a “Suspected Stealth Gay” does not “come out” to you that lack of disclosure does not always mean a person is “Gay” and closeted. It very often means that person is: 1) avowedly “Gay” without any intention of discussing it with YOU and acknowledging your offensively suspicious, circumspect manner; or 2) heterosexual and annoyed with your mistake. In either case you’re way out-of-line. People, Gay or straight, simply do not want to deal with your erroneous invasive presumptions about their sexuality.
Stop expecting all Gays owe you some sort of disclosure. Stop pressuring Suspected Stealth Gays to signify as “Gay” or do something “Gay”, when they do not automatically come out to you personally, just to accommodate you’re remarkably-creepy-need-to-know. This compulsion to “come out” is a heterosexual fantasy and a bigoted function of the closet imposed upon The Gays by you. 

4) Stop using the phrase “openly Gay”. Sexual orientation is avowed not admitted.

5) Stop speculating freely and conspiratorially on the sexuality of others. It betrays your grotesque insecurity. It is also called Sexual Harassment.

6) Admit the destabilizing fear, anxiety and discomfort you feel when every single Suspected Stealth Gay you think you know does not personally reveal sexual orientation to you immediately.

7) Face that destabilizing fear and anxiety alone. “The Gays” do not come-out-of-the-closet to accommodate your anxiety and indulge your remarkably creepy need-to-know. Here’s a thought: healthy people have boundaries. 

8) Admit your unchallenged belief in Compulsory Heterosexuality is the single cause of that destabilizing fear and anxiety NOT the presence of ostensible, unverifiable, unconfirmed homosexuals (i.e. Suspected Stealth Gays). The solution is simple: 1) stop expecting every person on earth to be exactly like you, 2) stop expecting every person on earth must disclose or explain their difference to you.

9) Stop professing you are “fine with The Gays”. We’re sure you have many black friends too. Please stop telling us about it.

10) Stop forcing homosexuals to tolerate your “tolerance”.

11) Stop extrapolating from personal experience.
Exhibit A: “I like The Gays so all straight people are cool like me. I’ll just indulge my uninterrogated belief that homophobic bigotry is a fantasy and expect The Gays not to be offended by my narcissistic ignorance because, really, my personal feelings and comfort are much more important than the systemic oppression and persecution of an entire class of people worldwide for centuries. Because straight people really are the center of the universe! No, I mean I’m really the center of the universe!”

12) Stop generalizing from personal experience.
Your limited knowledge and experience of your “Gays” is at best partial and, I emphasize, irrelevant to the individual and collective specificity of all homosexuals and homosexuality worldwide.
The Gay “minstrel show” you love is a lazy, fallacious construction of your own uninterrogated delusions which you, consciously or unconsciously, continue to impose on The Gays…unironically. Not all Gays conform to those comforting preconceived (i.e. bigoted) notions you so freely and uncritically swallow.
The truth is heterosexuals freely embrace the comforting predictability of homophobic stereotypes mistaking such “acceptance” as “progressive”. Unwittingly becoming stereotypes themselves. Whether all this is unconscious or self-conscious it is misguided. The soft bigotry of low expectations.
So, stop imposing the claustrophobic “Gay Box”.
Exhibit A: “I have [insert exaggerated number here] Gay friends so I already know what ALL Gays are like. Please don’t expect me to believe you’re an individual or somehow different. You’re exactly like all The Gays I already know. Kind of the way all my Asians friends look and think and act alike. Kind of the way all my Black friends look and think and act alike.”
Exhibit B: Kathy Griffin’s reality show persona. She is being ironic about “her Gays”. Do you get that?

13) Stop defending yourselves.
We know some heterosexuals are cool. Stop reminding us. At the very least personally acknowledge your enormous privileges of marriage, reproductive freedom, adoption rights, hospital visitation rights, military service, no-risk access to housing and employment, tax benefits, personal safety etc. Privileges that are not only guaranteed for you but paraded throughout this and every culture on earth as not just the standard but the zenith of human experience and quality of life. Privileges that are not universal inalienable rights for The Gays. Privileges in exact disproportion to the systemic disenfranchisement of an entire class of people worldwide which you neither understand nor realize. 

14) Stop flattering yourself with the “Homosexual Panic Defense”. Gays do not want to have sex with you. This is emphasized for straight men. Really. Look in the mirror, step on a scale, then look around. 

15) Stop conflating homosexual with “Gay”. Sexual orientation and cultural identity is not the same thing, especially when the cultural identity in question has NEVER BEEN FORMED OUTSIDE OF OPPRESSION. While all “Gays” are homosexual, not all avowed homosexuals culturally identify as “Gay”.
Understand this fantasy of “Gay” identity is arguably dysfunctional: the post-traumatic-stress-disorder of sexual apartheid and centuries of oppression. “Official Gay Culture” is a massive exercise in behavior modification.  Nothing more than a compromised reaction-formation desperately constructed ONLY in the last few decades to negotiate and adapt to centuries of consistent persecution and disenfranchisement.
Acknowledge the grotesque personal, psychological damage such universal persecution produces in an entire class of people. Understand that celebrating the resultant dysfunctional “cultural identity” is neither deferential nor transformative.
Acknowledge your complacence with that caste system.
Acknowledge your collusion with the very hegemony that produced and perpetuates it.
Acknowledge sexual apartheid.

16) Do not challenge the masculinity/femininity of The Gays. 

17) Do not make The Gays defend the right to get married.  What are your own reasons for wanting to get married? There’s your answer.

18) Do not make The Gays defend the right to raise their own children and create their own families. What are your own reasons? There’s your answer.

18) Do not make The Gays defend the right to serve their country. 

19) Stop pretending Gay is a choice.  Did you choose to be heterosexual? There’s your answer. The day heterosexuals can “change” will be the exact same day homosexuals can “change”. Got that?

20) Stop asking what “causes” homosexuality, as if it is a disease.  Pretending heterosexuality is genetic and therefore “natural” but homosexuality is magically aberrant betrays a remarkable sense of entitlement.   The question is not what causes The Gay.  The question is: what are the biological determinants of sexual orientation in general, as a universal human trait and characteristic?

21) Stop pimping The Gays in your elections and ballot measures. 

22) Stop pretending The Gays are filthy, disgusting, promiscuous, disease vectoring, predatory whores out to destroy you and your children. 

23) Stop terrorizing, attacking, beating and killing The Gays in your streets and your schools and your courts and your legislatures. 

24) Stop pretending The Gays imagine your tyranny, conveniently absolving yourselves of guilt while projecting delusion and culpability in one genius stroke.
That you have absolutely no knowledge or interest in how Gay lives are confined, restrained and coerced every moment of every day because of you is insulting.  Recognize ignorance and complacency as your exclusive hegemonic privilege.  Explain this to your friends and stop being part of the problem.