INTERNET SHORTHAND AS IF WRITTEN BY A PROPER ENGLISHMAN

hah!
I found your last comment humorous, good sir!
hahaha
My jubilant utterance could be heard in the next room!
lol - laugh out loud
I did laugh merrily in an out loud fashion.
rofl - rolling on floor laughing
I dare say I fell onto the ground, and proceeded to roll about as if I were swine of some sort.
lmao - laughing my ass off
I laughed so intensely that my buttocks nearly disconnected from my flesh.
pmsl - pissed myself laughing
My guttural emission of joy caused me to urinate my trousers.
omg - oh my god
Gordon Bennett!
zomg - oh my god with a z at the beginning
zGordon Bennett!
w/e - whatever
Right. Would you like some tea?
stfu - shut the fuck up
If you were drinking tea right now, you would not be speaking.
ily - I love you
I dare say, if I weren’t a proper Englishman and my heart was not a cold dark place, I suspect I would feel quite passionate about you.
roflcopter - rolling on the floor laughing…copter
As I was rolling about on the floor, emitting sounds of jubilance, I did see a strange flying machine.
gtfo - get the fuck out
I must request that you depart hastily.
tits or gtfo - tits or get the fuck out
Madam, I ask that you reveal your bosom to me, for if you do not, I must request that you depart hastily.
imho - in my humble opinion
Tis fact.
j/k - just kidding
An Englishman never kids.
afk - away from keyboard
I will be absent from this typing device for the time being.
rtfm - read the fucking manual
Jeeves, would you please look over these instructions?
milf - mother I’d like to fuck
Even though that gentlewoman has bred offspring, I cannot deny that I still have the desire to fornicate with her.
smd - suck my dick
Would you be so kind as to fellate my little Englishman?
idk - i don’t know
I know, but I’d rather not say.
pos - parent over shoulder
The nanny is about.
ftw - for the win
Victory!
ftl - for the lose
Defeat? I do not believe that is so. We have clearly planted the flag of our nation. Do you not see the flag? Victory!
roflwaffles
roflcrumpets
mofo - mother fucker
You have coital relations with your mother, sir! I suspect you to be royalty and I humbly bow at your feet.
ASL - age/sex/location
I would like to inquire the number of years you have spent on this earth, the specifics of what genitalia you possess, as well as the geographic area you occupy.
bff - best friends forever
eternal acquaintance
l8r g8r - later gator
I bid you adieu, american reptile.
omgwtfbbq - oh my god, what the fuck, barbecue
Great deity in heaven, what in the queen’s name is that? That makes less sense than an outdoor cooking apparatus.
fml - fuck my life
I am British.