Leviticus

Gay marriage is bad. It is morally indefensible and repugnant to anyone who has experimented with gay sex in college and Anne Heche.

Yet it seems every other day, some state is legalizing the breakdown of traditional American values. It's true that some traditional American values, like slavery and the right to privacy, needed breaking down. But every time I see or hear about another gay pride parade or Rosie O'Donnell YouTube rant, I want buy another Bill O'Reilly t-shirt. Seriously.

The real reason the gays want to marry is the same reason everyone wants to be an illegal alien. It's the benefits. 'Why," says the gay man, "does the guy doing my lawn get free medical from the state, but I have to pay full price for my life partner's colonoscopy?"

Why indeed? Well here's the answer. Because you broke God's law, moron. Instead of going out and having multiple partners, having unprotected sodomy with other sinners and spreading the HIV virus as God intended, you have chosen to be homosexually monogamous.