Some Entirely Realistic Suggestions Following the Failures of the Quixotic "War on Drugs" and "War on Terror."

The War on Meter Maids

The War on Unpaired Socks

The War on Late DVD Rental Fees

The War on Teaspoons Left in the Sink

The War on Declaring Wars on Stateless Individuals and Ideologies Whose Very Nature Precludes There Ever Being an End to Said Conflicts

The War on Breeders